I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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