Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
