so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
