You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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