You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
