did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
