i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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