I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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