He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
