fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
