We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
