yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
