Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
