why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
