wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
