I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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