i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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