how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize