butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
