Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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