I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
