Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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