haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
