How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Randomize
