should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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