tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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