my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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