Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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