I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
