my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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