you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
