I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
