Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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