Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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