I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize