what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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