I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
