You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
