Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
