I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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