Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
