The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
