i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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