I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
