Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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