Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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