I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
