TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
