My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize