Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
