Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
