my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
