i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
