I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
