I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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