it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
