I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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