I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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