I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
