i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
