This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she smelled like a LAN party
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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