I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
PANTIES FOUND
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