He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
