I've blown a few things in my day
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize