my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
